Building Healthy Relationships (2)

Chuckle: A Child prayed, "Dear God, If you let the dinasor not extinct, we wouldn't have a country. You did the right thing." Jonathan

Quote: “Relationships of trust depend on our willingness to look not only to our own interests, but also the interests of others.” --Peter Farquharson

BUILDING HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS (2)

"Treat other people exactly as you would like to be treated by them -- this is the essence of all true religion" (Matthew 7:12 Phillips).

Last time, we mentioned that the “Golden Rule” was not so much a rule but rather a principle to live by. The Golden Rule principle has been unused, misused, and abused. Here are some perversions we hear: (1) Do unto others before they can do unto you; (2) Do unto others as they do unto you; or (3) I'm not a Christian but I just try to live by the Golden Rule. We must recognize that only our personal relationship with Christ gives us the ability to apply this principle in the power of the Holy Spirit. Here are some practical ways to build relationships.

First, If I want to be heard, I must listen. Attentive listening to someone says, "I care about you - you're important." A child may say, "Mom and Dad don't listen, therefore they must not care about me." This perception can drive children to talk to others instead of parents -- where they may get damaging advice and guidance. Husbands and wives may say, "he/she doesn't listen to me any more." "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry" (James 1:19 NIV). To be heard, learn to listen.

Second, If I want to be appreciated, I must appreciate others. William James said, "The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated." Paul said, in Romans 12:10 NIV, "Honor one another above yourselves." Expressing appreciation is difficult for some people because they were never appreciated as they grew up. It takes a relationship with Jesus Christ to make it possible for you to fully apply this principle in your life.

Third, if I want to be encouraged, I must encourage. "Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up" (Romans 15:2 NIV). We live in a critical, condemning world. What a refreshing change when we build people up by encouraging them and making them feel special.

Fourth, If I want acceptance, I must accept others. Some Christians get to be self-righteous and critical and cannot accept others. Those that Jesus admonished most were Pharisees and Sadducees who thought they were more righteous than everyone else and saw the sins of others but not their own. Jesus accepts people, not their sins. He loves them for who they are, not for the way they act. Sometimes, we would rather judge than witness. "Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you" (Romans 15:7 NIV).

Fifth, If I want consideration and kindness, I must give consideration and kindness. "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you" (Ephesians 4:32 NIV). We need to shout it, preach it, and teach it - Christians are to be nice.

Sixth, If I want to be understood, I must be understanding. Peter Drucker, says most problems in business management results from faulty communications - not understanding the feelings of others. The same is true in families and churches. We should practice hearing from the other person's perspective. Along with understanding comes patience and gentleness.

Love, Jerry & Dotse