Dealing with Conflict

Chuckle: "We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public."

Good Quote: “Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love.” --Martin Luther King, Jr.

DEALING WITH CONFLICT

          "Love must be sincere. . . Love each other as brothers and sisters and honor others more than you do yourself" (Romans 12:9,10 CEV). "Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out" (Proverbs 17:14 NIV).

Are you involved in a conflict situation with a brother or sister? Is there someone who really gets under your skin by their words or actions and causes you to rise up in defiance with a desire to retaliate? Conflict does not have to be all out war to have devastating effects on our overall demeanor and our fellowship with fellow believers, not to mention destroying our joy and fellowship with our Lord. Unresolved mild disagreements can escalate into much more serious disputes when we allow ourselves to become angry and bitter.

Perhaps you are reluctant to try reconciliation because you don't know how he/she will react to your overtures. But you know, it really doesn't matter how they might react -- you still have the responsibility to love them and honor them above yourself. You may say, "but God must not understand what He is asking me to do. He must not understand how I feel and the fears and anxieties I'm experiencing." Oh yes He does.

God wants to teach us about Christ-like love, the kind of love that allowed Jesus to pray from the cross on behalf of those who were crucifying Him: "Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing" (Luke 23:34 NIV). Jesus said, "My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you" (John 15:12 NIV). We must trust the Holy Spirit to help us show love to those for whom we may not feel love. We cannot do it in our own strength.

We can honor and show love to those with whom we have conflict by trying to understand their points of view. By viewing the issue from their perspective, you will be better able to display a Christ-like spirit toward them. Try to see them through the eyes of Jesus -- as His precious children for whom He died. Pray for them, give them the benefit of the doubt, and be willing to forgive.

Love and forgiveness are keys to resolving conflicts. "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you" (Colossians 3:13 NIV).

Love, Jerry & Dotse