Be Slow to Become Angry

Chuckle: A father said to his teenage daughter he wanted her home by 11 P.M.  “But Father,” she complained, “I’m no longer a child.”  “I know,” answered her father. “That’s why I want you home by 11!”

Good Quote: “As we learn to shorten the time between offense and forgiveness, there becomes no time left for anger or vindictiveness.” --Unknown

"My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires" (James 1:19-20 NIV).

We live in a time when a disagreement often becomes justification for personal attack, abuse, and sometimes even violence against the person or persons with whom we disagree. The ability to have civil and courteous discussions of divergent points of view seems to have been lost by many of us. It seems we have come to think a disagreement automatically means a fight. Anytime two or more people interact there will be disagreements from time to time.

Discussing differing points of view, if done in a courteous and agreeable way, can broaden our thinking on the issues and increase our appreciation and understanding of other people. When we close our minds to points of view other than our own, we stop learning and increasingly expend our energies defending our own crystallized opinions. Then, our intolerance of other views continues to grow and, eventually that intolerance transfers from the issues to those expressing opposing views -- it becomes personal. If not dealt with, the intolerance then festers within us and eventually gives way to full-blown hostility, anger, and even rage. Once this stage is reached, we may not stop talking but communications with those who disagree with us will stop, leaving no basis, or will, to better understand one another.

If we allow our talking and listening to become out of proportion, our natural inclination is to become frustrated and angry with the other person. In our passage, we are admonished to be quick to listen. This means we accept everyone's right to speak and pay them respect by listening to them attentively. It does not mean we should necessarily abandon our convictions and adopt theirs -- rather it means we recognize the right of others to have differing views. When we listen with patience, attentiveness, and courtesy, our attitude will not be lost on the one who is speaking. It takes two angry people to have a fight. As long as one person refuses to become angry, the possibility of mutual understanding increases -- and good will is fostered.

There is much said in Scripture about Christians controlling our anger. We see from our passage that anger can become destructive and keep us from becoming the righteous persons God wants us to be. I believe the first step in controlling our selfish anger is to pray for God's help. Then, focus on seeing other people as God sees them -- as precious souls who need the same love and forgiveness that we have received. Rather than becoming angry and bitter toward someone, try praying for that person. You will find it very difficult, if not impossible, to remain angry with a person for whom you are sincerely praying. Finally, you might try to better understand the person instead of becoming angry. Once you understand his or her background and the challenges they face in life, you can better understand what makes them act the way they do.

Love, Jerry & Dotse