Why Do People Quarrel?

Chuckle: Some husbands quarrel with their wives, and others have learned to say, “Yes, dear.”

Quote: “In quarreling, the truth is always lost.” --Publilius Syrus

WHY DO PEOPLE QUARREL? James 4:1-10

"What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you?" (James 4:1 NIV).

You will find that the teachings from the book of James are relevant for our lives today. They show us what it means to be a mature Christian. Every one of us would be wise to hear and digest James' message.

The dictionary defines a quarrel as: "an argument or dispute, especially an angry one." Further, a quarrelsome person is someone "likely to quarrel; fond of fighting and arguing." You have heard the old saying, "it takes two to tango." Well it takes at least two to quarrel. A quarrel will die without willing participants. It feeds on anger, jealousy, bitterness, frustration, selfishness, and a general lack of concern for the feelings of others. "Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out" (Proverbs 17:14 NIV).

History is the story of mankind's inability to get along with one another. We read and hear of disputes among nations, families, churches, and others. Many married couples say they love each other but, for some reason, just can't seem to get along very well. They quarrel a lot. Young people experience a lot of disharmony and disputes with parents, siblings, and friends. All of us have experienced this to one degree or another.

Evidently, quarreling among Christians was a problem in James' day as it is today. When we don't get what we want, we quarrel and fight in order to have it. Conflicts and disputes among believers are always harmful. And, because of the bitterness it brings to our hearts, it also disrupts our fellowship with our Lord, and the cause of Christ suffers as a result. Quarreling and fighting among ourselves gives the critics of Christianity all the ammunition they need to discredit us in the eyes of the world. We leave ourselves open to being called hypocritical for preaching about the love of Christ and all the while fussing and fighting with one another.

James is a wonderful and practical teacher and helps us deal with these disruptive forces in our relationships. Right now, please think about the one person with whom you have the most conflict. As you think about it, ask God to teach you how to deal with this most important issue. The problems of quarreling and conflict can be successfully dealt with and solved with the help of the Holy Spirit. In our passage, James identifies the source of our quarreling and the solution to the problem. Next time we will look more deeply into the question: "Why do we Quarrel?"

Love, Jerry & Dotse