Dealing with Disagreements

Chuckle: A Sunday School teacher asked a new boy, "who led the Israelites across the Red Sea?" "It wasn't me," he said. "We've just moved here from Missouri."

Good Thought: “We need not all agree, but if we disagree, let us not be disagreeable in our disagreements.” --Martin R. DeHaan

"And now I want to plead with those two women, Euodia and Syntyche. Please, because you belong to the Lord, settle your disagreement" (Philippians 4:2 NLT).

Disagreements are inevitable when two or more people interact. But, with God's help, we can learn to disagree without bitterness and rancor. When you think about it, wouldn't it be a dull world if we all agreed on everything. Usually disagreements occur when we don't get our way. Often we want something done one way and someone else wants it done another way.

Not getting our way can sometimes cause us to react in anger, frustration, and bitterness to a degree that others are surprised and taken back by our actions. They may never have seen this side of us before. Christians are not immune to immature reactions when things don't go the way we think they should, or the way we want them to. Sadly, disagreements that lead to anger and bitterness can destroy the sweet fellowship of God's people.

The two women mentioned in our passage had been co-workers for Christ in the church at Philippi, and their broken relationship was a matter of great concern to Paul. Many had come to know Christ through their cooperative efforts, but the credibility of their witness was in danger of being destroyed because they couldn't get along. We may work hard for Christ's kingdom, but the fruits of our labor can be diminished or non-existent if we can't get along with others in the church. There is no excuse for Christians to be at odds with one another when they are committed to the same cause.

We must remember that when we form strong opinions about something, we are no more entitled to have our opinions accepted by others than others are to have theirs accepted by us. It's a "human" thing to believe that "my idea is the best one and I don't understand why everyone can't see that which is so obvious to me." A Spirit-filled Christian will not allow selfish desires to get in the way of pursuing the common good.

If you find yourself angry and frustrated because you didn't get your way, or things did not go the way you wanted (felt they should), you would be wise to listen more closely to those who disagree with you -- with the intent to better understand why they feel the way they do. This requires an open mind and a cooperative spirit. We must learn to handle disagreements in a loving and kind way -- never with anger and hostility.

"Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one heart and purpose. Don't be selfish; don't live to make a good impression on others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself" (Philippians 2:2-3 NLT).

Love, Jerry & Dotse