Overcoming Loneliness

Chuckle: "What I've learned from dogs: If someone's chewing you out, it helps to stare into space like it's not happening." --Mark Patinkin

Quote: "People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges. Let us not erect walls without doors of friendliness or windows of love.” --Joseph Fort Newton

"Turn to me and be gracious to me (O God), for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart have multiplied. Free me from my anguish" (Psalm 25:16-17 NIV ).

I wonder how many people are drowning in loneliness and despair all around us, while no one notices, or worse yet, no one cares. Some struggle with the need for kindness and companionship, but often their cries go unheard. We assemble ourselves at church and are unaware that someone seated next to us is going under for the third time in a sea of desperate loneliness.

Some think Christians are immune from loneliness and fear. There is an unspoken belief that if you are really a Christian you don’t have problems like that. We all know that's not true. We come to church and sing, "Rescue the Perishing," and fail to notice that there are people perishing right there in the pews. Someone may be dealing with severe grief over the loss of a loved one. Another may have been abandoned by someone deeply loved. Another may have a loved one thousands of miles away in harms way.

In our modern culture, which idealizes independence and individuality, we have paid the price with a loss of friendships, closeness, and community, even among Christians. Self-sufficiency can be a source of pride, but the result is that we no longer belong to anyone. You may be lonely yourself and in need encouragement, or you may know someone mired deep in loneliness and are wondering how you can help. How can you ease the pain if you are lonely and perhaps help others? Here are some thoughts.

      - Stay true to your beliefs and practice integrity. Don't give up on yourself or others. Do your best to live by the values of your Christian faith, staying tuned to the wisdom of God's Word and the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Make up your mind to see the best in others rather than the worst. Focus on the positive, never the negative.

      - Find meaningful, productive, and satisfying work to do. Idleness contributes to the feelings of loneliness and uselessness, but productive work will give you purpose, make you feel better about yourself, and help dispel loneliness. Use your God-given abilities for the good of others.

      - Forgive those who may have wronged you. Harboring resentment and an unwillingness to forgive will only intensify loneliness. You may feel that there is nothing you have done that makes you deserve the mistreatment you may have received, and you may be right. But that doesn't diminish the release and freedom that can come from forgiving the one who hurt you.

     - Finally, take God at His Word when he says: "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you" (Hebrews 13:5 NIV). Those who walk with God are never really alone.

It is not what happens to us that matters, but how we handle what happens to us. God specializes in solving human problems, and He will help you overcome loneliness if you allow Him to do so.

Love, Jerry & Dotse